My Blog

A rare cosmic event

Sat, 05 Sep 2009 20:01:33 +0200

In a few days it will be 090909. This is an an extremely rare event that hardly ever happens more than once in a man’s life (more common in women’s life), and it has great numerical, astronomical and culinary implication. Don’t miss the date.

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Quotations from the honest guru

Sun, 19 Jul 2009 12:42:52 +0200

Men think highly of those who rise rapidly in the world; whereas nothing rises quicker than dust, straw, and feathers

Lord Byron

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A new ‘Gangster Gene’ found

Sun, 12 Jul 2009 21:37:23 +0200

The gene can predict who is likely to become a gang member. The discovery is hailed by human right groups, who vow to confront our socially unjust legal system over sentencing gang members for crimes committed by their genes.

Scientist are still perplexed by the origin of the gene, that together with its cousin, the Obesity Gene, seemed to have materialised in the western society out of nowhere – in contradiction to our current understanding of gene theory.

Anonymous source in the intelligence services was heard blaming Al Qaeda biological warfare for the spread of the genes, brining the lack of obesity in their parts of the world as the undisputable proof.

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The Tower of London

Sun, 28 Jun 2009 22:58:26 +0200

The beauty of the blood-soaked jewellery
Cannot distract the young couple on the travellator
From gazing into each other’s eyes
Longingly.

Not even the screams of the ghosts
Whose organs are burnt
In front of their not-yet-dying eyes
Can stop their passionate kissing.

It was a flicker of a dress
A glimpse
And an argument
That sent them to never see each other again.

While the ravens, feasting on their ancestors stories
Are still waiting
For the return of the days
When warm flesh is served
With every meal.

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Ten Houses I lived in

Sun, 31 May 2009 00:02:06 +0200

On top of the mountain facing the sea, where winter wind blew roofs and cars away … 1965

Amongst the fish ponds, where in summer nights clouds of mosquitoes attracted to the light-bulbs turned them dark … 1983

The room in the basement in which two of us would sleep so comfortably in a tiny single bed … 1985

A tin house so cold in the winter that the water in the bathtub turned into a block of ice … 1989

A tiny square room without a window bath or shower, which I shared with three. Did I enjoy the public bath … 1991

Hideaway in the rainforest where the screeching bats on the mango trees kept us awake all night; and so did our baby … 1996

A massive condominium with lifeguards who could not swim, but were concerned with babies floating petals in the water …1999

An English village, so English that even the English themselves could not believe that such Englishness still existed. It was the house where I passed the change of the Millennium

A white castle with a living room the size of a basketball field. We turned it into a kids’ gym, but the neighbours did not approve … 2003

A blue house where my son found lizards bigger than him in the backyard. We never kept them for long … 2005

It’s these ten houses and the many others I have lived in that made me realise that it’s who I am and not where I am that matters.

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Zen

Sat, 30 May 2009 01:34:44 +0200

Did you hear about the Zen Master who goes
up to the hot dog vendor and says, "Make me
one with everything"?

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... and my favourite

Mon, 25 May 2009 01:01:57 +0200

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A trick Question

Sun, 24 May 2009 23:41:49 +0200

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Relativity Simplified

Sun, 24 May 2009 22:56:45 +0200

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Quotations from the honest guru

Sun, 24 May 2009 11:06:05 +0200

Some people are so well organized and planned ...
I am glad I’m not one of them

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A Dozen Snapshots

Sun, 24 May 2009 00:50:54 +0200

My six years old brother, who makes money returning glass bottles to the shop, brings home a donkey he’s bought for a fiver. He wants to keep it, but mother says that the third floor in the middle of town is not a good place for a donkey. My brother takes the donkey round to see if his friend would buy it off him.

At dinner my father tells me not put my elbows on the table. I ask him why, and he brings to the table a book called ‘Table Manners’. I promise to read it if he washes the dishes.

I hear my mother screaming: “Either the snakes go or I go,” when she finds the snake boxes under my bed. She hates snakes. I tell her that the snakes stay. But she wouldn’t listen. She sends me to set them free, and locks me in my room for the rest of the day.

My girlfriend and I swim in the deep sea. I suggest that we swapped swimmers, and we do. It’s a silly idea, as we laugh so much that we nearly drown.

A dog, as big as I am, runs wildly round our backyard. Everyone is watching from the balcony. When I go up red and breathless, they ask me if I was afraid.

After every dinner one of us boys washes the dishes. When it’s my turn I stand on a chair to reach the sink. I ask my mother why my sister doesn’t take turns too. She said that it’s because she’s a girl.

Every night in the summer I take the jeep and drive on the sand to see if the sea turtles come out to lay eggs.

In my late twenties I am asked if I am gay. He gives me his telephone number in case I changed my mind.

I wake up and I don’t know if it’s day or night. There are guests talking in the living room. My mother lifts me from the cot and wishes me happy birthday. She gives me a puzzle of two swans on a lake.

My brother and I keep fighting until my mother locks us in our room. We jump from one balcony to the next all the way down, and then run up the stairs to ring the bell. I never saw my mother so confused as when she opens the door and sees both of us. After that we make sure we give her plenty of reasons to lock us in our room.

A beggar tells me he is hungry and I ignore him. But when I realize that he didn’t ask for money I chase him and ask if it’s food that he wants. He says he is hungry, and I buy him a hotdog and a pizza. He kisses my hand. After that whenever a beggar tells me he is hungry I offer to buy him food. Mostly they want money.

Only in my twenties after a big explosion I found out why I shouldn’t put metal spoons in the microwave.

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Internal Strength

Tue, 19 May 2009 00:53:32 +0200

Oh, you mighty man
Standing so high
Will you still have your power
When plunging low?

A shattered mother
Will not slumber
And bring her baby to safety.

A hungry father
Will toil all day
To give his child a future.

An injured boy
Carries another
Who is not heavy
He is his brother.

Where is your power
Oh mighty man
When the red carpet
Is pulled from under your feet?

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Freedom

Sat, 16 May 2009 18:03:21 +0200

The freedom of being one
Is true freedom
Only for those
Who can’t see the bars
Of their cage.

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Daffodils

Sat, 09 May 2009 17:22:04 +0200

At the end of the daffodil garden
Two lone daffodils
Think they are the only ones in the world

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I wonder if

Sun, 03 May 2009 09:26:48 +0200

Is it possible that the anorexic supermodels are responsible – at least partially – to the obesity epidemic? After all, if your ideal is the rainbow in the sky, why make an effort at all?

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Please don’t send me eCards anymore

Sun, 03 May 2009 09:19:10 +0200

I love to know you think of me
I love to know you care.
I’m happy when you chat with me
In MSN or mail.
But please don’t send me eCards anymore.

I love to hear about your deeds
I always want to know.
An SMS makes me happy
Even if it’s just hello.
But please don’t send me eCards anymore

Cause when I get eCard from you
I wasn’t on your mind.
You have a mailing list, I know
And a new site you found.

Send me a single line to say
That you are fine and care.
But please,
Yes Please
I really mean it
Don’t send me eCards anymore.

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The Gypsy

Sun, 03 May 2009 09:02:57 +0200

A wild music he plaid
On the violin
Most paid him to go
I paid him to stay
A moment of true kinship
For a fiver

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Unforgetting

Sun, 26 Apr 2009 12:26:38 +0200

The language I can’t remember hearing
The food I don’t remember eating
Are all around me.

No, please don’t
I promise to behave

As if the black bruises
Have never left me.

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We forget

Fri, 24 Apr 2009 19:27:39 +0200

When we used the land just like our ancestors, it’s amazing how tasteful the most basic of foods can be.

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Once we were

Fri, 24 Apr 2009 18:02:01 +0200

A city
Once so grand
Decaying.

Time.

Glorified past
Where is it going?

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And BCUK is silent ...

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 00:18:38 +0200

In the latest military offensive in Sri Lanka, about 1,000 civilians were killed, and many more injured during its latest.

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The Artist

Sun, 19 Apr 2009 21:55:14 +0200

Lost for hours in a rundown part of town. Cats are feasting on a rabble of rats and mice roaming the brown-water filled potholes in the dark narrow alleyways from which no sky can be seen for the low stone archways and the tall crumbling yellow walls.

Do you want to see my music? The question come from a man squatting in a corner, covered with a stained blanket whose colour long faded. No money, just your time I want, he continues, and then leads me up a tall stairway, dragging his leg behind. Don’t step here, he taps with his walking stick, and the settled dust reveals the broken pavers and hidden holes.

We reach a lightless room that could barely fit the single bed covered with debris and broken tools. I sit on the bed-corner; he on the floor. In fast steady motions he sharpens a knife. In his right he holds a bow whose string he wraps around a piece of wood. He holds the knife with his bare foot and moves the bow forward and backward in a fast movement my eyes can’t grasp. With only the slightest movement of his knife-holding foot he touches the wood.

The debris, the dirt, the stained blanket are gone, and all that remains is a shapeless piece of wood metamorphosing, in front of my eyes, in a magician’s hand, into an elaborate carved statue of a woman. This is my music he says and his face illuminates the room as if a window just opened into the bright midday light high above.

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The cock and the pearl

Sat, 18 Apr 2009 14:55:34 +0200

A cock strutting in the yard
Found a pearl in hay
It’s only mine, he called the hens
Everyone here away!

He pecked it once and twice
Before taking into beak
He tasted, chewed and then spat out
It’s not a thing to eat.

It’s stupid, useless piece of junk!
He called in great dismay
Why does man adore it much?
It’s not as good as hay.

While some would claim Ignorant cock
Missed treasure he could have
What value is a pearl
If hay is what you crave?

A freee interpretation of Aesop's fable

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Always look at the bright side of life

Wed, 15 Apr 2009 18:55:11 +0200

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A question from the honest Guru

Wed, 15 Apr 2009 02:25:08 +0200

Why do psychics have to ask you your name?

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Quotations from the honest Guru

Sun, 12 Apr 2009 17:43:19 +0200

If you sometimes feel a little useless, offended or depressed … Always remember that you were once the fastest and most victorious little sperm out of millions.

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How old is your brain

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 00:41:49 +0200

This game is supposed to give you the functional age of your brain. I am not sure what it means, but anyway, it's fun.

As the instructions are in Japanese, this is what you need to do:

1. Push 'start'
2. Wait for 3, 2, 1.
3. Memorize the position of the numbers on the screen (they disappear fast). Once they have disappeared, click the circles in order, from the SMALLEST number to the BIGGEST number.
4. At the end of game, the computer will tell you the age of your brain.

Enjoy

http://flashfabrica.com/f_learning/brain/brain.html

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Utterly and Completely Unfunny Politically Incorrect Joke

Sat, 04 Apr 2009 20:55:18 +0200

What happens when a fly falls into a coffee cup?

The Italian - throws the cup, breaks it, and walks away in a fit of rage.

The German - carefully washes the copy, sterilizes it and makes a new cup of coffee.

The Frenchman - takes out the fly, and drinks the coffee.

The Chinese - eats the fly and throws away the coffee.

The Russian - Drinks the coffee with the fly, since it was extra with no charge.

The Israeli - sells the coffee to the Frenchman, the fly to the Chinese, drinks tea and uses the extra money to invent a device that prevents flies from falling into coffee.

The Palestinian - blames the Israeli for the fly falling in his coffee, protests the act of aggression to the UN, takes a loan from the European Union to buy a new cup of coffee, uses the money to purchase explosives and then blows up the coffee house where the Italian, the Frenchman, the Chinese, the German and the Russian are all trying to explain to the Israeli that he should give away his cup of tea to the Palestinian.

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Quotations From The Honest Guru

Sat, 04 Apr 2009 20:43:43 +0200

Remember, half the people you know are below average.

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A Rate View Into Political Incorrectness

Thu, 02 Apr 2009 23:07:31 +0200

IslamicStripper

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